So You Have An Ypsilanti Child Custody Case or a custody case anywhere else?
One of the most painful experiences in life is the separation of a loving parent from a beloved child, and it happens many times every day in the case of divorce. As Solomon pointed out, you cannot split a child between two claimants without causing pain. Every day the unresolved case drags on, you and your child experience yet more pain, uncertainty, and fear. But you want your child. What do you do?
First, know your rights. Your Ypsilanti child custody case does not remove your parental rights from you, and never will. If you have never been abusive, never put your child in danger, and appear to be able to provide for your child in a responsible fashion in the future, you have at least an equal right to the child, regardless of your sex.
Second, clean up every bad habit you bear. Because both parents go into the case with equal rights to their child, courts often award custody based not on your merit, but on how good your overall lifestyle will be for the child. This is the best interests of the child rule, and was actually established in an Ypsilanti child custody case years ago. Stop smoking, stop drinking more than a little, get rid of porn and bad habits. Keep your house spotless. Even little things, like driving habits, can be used by the opposing parent to “get” you.
Third, assume you will get the child, and behave accordingly. Have a room ready in your home for the child, talk to your local schools and daycares so you have a place arranged for the child if necessary, and do everything you would do if you had the child. Make sure your child custody attorney knows about everything you are doing so that he or she can build it into the case arguments.
Your behavior, however, is also going to be affected by the other parent’s behavior. You need to keep your temper and appear as perfect in your Ypsilanti child custody case as possible, no matter what dirty tricks are played. And yes, even the most angelic of exes can turn into a monster when the child is involved. Some rules to follow:
Do not allow yourself to get emotional with anyone involved in the court or the opposing parent’s side. Emotion, especially anger, will destroy your case.
Have an alibi for everything. Your ex may try to accuse you of things you did not do, and even harmless things like a night spent drinking and having fun with your friends can be used against you. Make sure someone knows how Pollyanna you are at every moment.
Be fair and reasonable in any other disputes with the opposing parent. If you’re giving her a fair deal in the divorce, you’re going to look a lot better than the creep who tries to send her away with nothing. On the other hand, with the house the kids often go; if you give too much, you may find the court awarding her the kids too “because they grew up in that house.” Don’t let your children’s custody be determined by your house!
Prepare for dirty tricks and emotional manipulation. You will need to steel yourself against the lowest things: accusations of sexual abuse are not uncommon in harsh custody fights, or having your child turned against you. Be prepared to petition the court for an order to put your child into therapy to deal with the pain not just you, but he, will be going through.
Remember: though you may be tempted to just give in when this starts happening to spare your child the pain, he or she will have to deal with a parent that was willing to put them through it to deprive you of the child. Think about that hard before bowing out.
Divorce is hell. The threat of losing your kids, too, is even worse. Don’t let it happen to you without a fair, clean fight.
Posted on May 13th, 2008 by Brent Delaurentis
Filed under: Articles
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