Looking for information about your Oakland County child custody battle?
In Oakland County, custody of a child is determined by several different things, not all of which are under your control. For instance, if you moved out during a divorce and left your wife with the house, she has an edge because you’ve just increased the likelihood she will get the house, and judges often award the children to the parent with the home.
This sounds unfair, and in a lot of ways it is. But there are a number of things you can do to ensure you have the best possible chance of retaining custody of your child.
Start by acting like a rational adult, especially if your soon-to-be-ex is not. Keep every appointment, be early even when you think you’re going to have a rough time of it, and stay rational and unemotional to the extent that it is possible. This can seem nearly impossible sometimes, particularly when bad things happen, but you absolutely must not get rattled even when the ex trains your child to “hate you” or she accuses you of terrible things you did not do.
Listen to every single word your attorney says. In fact, take notes. If you’re smart, you’ve hired a good divorce attorney (or, in cases when there was no marriage, a good child custody attorney) and that attorney has gone through cases exactly like yours a hundred times.
He or she has literally seen it all. In addition, your attorney knows the judge and what the judge likes, and probably also knows the opposing attorney and has a good idea of his or her tactics. Your excellent attorney is your new best friend, like it or not, and in Oakland County, custody of a child can be decided by who your attorney golfs with this Sunday.
Love your children, and respect their other parent. No matter what is going on while your ex has physical custody of your kids, they’re still your kids, and they are not entirely in control of what’s going on right now. Very young children aren’t in control at all. In addition, no matter what terrible things your ex is doing, he or she is still the other loved parent of your kids. Never, ever badmouth the ex in front of the kids in any way. You don’t have to worry about whether they understand what is going on; even if they don’t, the truth will come out eventually.
If you have issues, straighten out your life TODAY. If you live in Oakland County, custody of children is often decided by looking at parental lifestyle choices. The Donna Reed mom is going to do well against the Hugh Hefner dad. If you drink, smoke, gamble, or participate in any illegal activity, this is the time to stop. If you’re dating a new person your ex hates, you may have to lay off for a while. None of this is fair. That’s the way it is. You may have to decide between changing your life choices and getting your kids. Don’t choose the one you will regret.
Look better than your ex in front of the judge. Dress sharper, be more polite, have better answers, be more prepared, and for goodness sake do not make any wild accusations; your attorney should be the one doing that.
There is no guarantee you’ll get custody of your kids, no matter what you do. But you can ensure that you have a fighting chance.
Posted on May 13th, 2008 by Brent Delaurentis
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